![]() ![]() It is my job to share my process, whatever the mountain is that I am climbing. It is my job to share at EVERY phase of my journey. Because that is not who I am and that is not WHO I WANT TO BE in this world. I wanted to hide and not “put myself out there” because there is no way I deserved to have a voice now. I struggled for a few minutes, wondering how I could even continue to show up for other people when I am, so clearly, imperfect myself? The self-doubt had crept in, something powerful. I’m not healthy and I know it and living in this state is not what I want nor I deserve so…. So here I am, at a personal apex of self-awareness, facing the mountain and beginning to climb one step at a time. I made the bed I am laying in – do I judge myself? NO. But I got here, pushed over the edge of my own physical comfort, from a year of intense emotional eating used a survival mechanism. I can see that my relationship to food has, literally, never been healthier BUT, at the same time, I am living at a weight that does not, in any way shape or form, work for me right now. Here were some of the things that came up. I spent a good bit of time yesterday observing my thoughts. You’ve got this, I said to myself.Īnd I worked through the moment. I told myself my imperfections and my body and my “flaws” are all part of who I am as a glorious being.ĭeep breath, Sarah. If I am not emotionally and spiritually aligned and awake, I cannot connect, be present, or grow.Ĥ. My mindset is the most important thing, mental health is the most important thing. I directed my thoughts to what was REALLY important. ![]() I reminded myself that my feelings are not ME – they are only feelings and feelings are transient.ģ. It's like floating above yourself and you watch yourself have feelings – you name them and identify them and talk to them but are not swept up in them. I let myself feel what was coming up, but I “narrated” it instead. And, in a matter of seconds, I switched from feeling my feelings to OBSERVING my feelings.ġ. So I made a DELIBERATE choice to keep going anyway. My shape was rounder… I took a few deep breaths and struggled to get back into the right headspace. I mean, I knew it was me but, what I saw wasn’t a “me” I was peaceful with. In fact, as I was watching myself in the camera, I found myself getting distracted… I didn’t recognize my face and my body. And, I am SO EXCITED that I can’t contain myself.Īnd then I watched the video back. I recorded a casual video to share my excitement with you about the doors opening for my LIFELOVE Vatreat. And I want you to be able to learn from this. I want you to know how conscious and intentional the thought process that followed was. And yesterday, I really wanted to say “fuck it” and abandon ship.īut I didn’t. ![]()
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